The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I think I just sharted jello shots
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