Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
