Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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