And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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