I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
