I didn't shave. On purpose
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
