Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
