South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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