My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
