he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He shit in the fireplace
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
