i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
