I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
