I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
