Welp...herpes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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