I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
