She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize