Do you still have your period?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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