im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
