It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
