By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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