I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
