Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
