is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The air was thick with penises
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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