BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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