she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
