So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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