I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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