No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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