is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize