I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
