she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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