love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
