So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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