return my video game
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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