I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
