I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
