He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
