sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
