I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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