ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
