Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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