guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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