just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
