Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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