I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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