By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
