Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
