They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
