I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
