We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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