Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
