i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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