we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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