I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
