I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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