She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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