I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
birth control should be required to get into college
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
