i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize