I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
