Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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