Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
