hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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