I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
