I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
