we're blogging at a bar
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
