i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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