I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
