suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
