Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
