When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
