Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize