I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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