After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
